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| I know I have been ranting lately about my bf's best friend gal pal thing. My conclusion is, i want to be happy, he does make me happy. I want a life with him, the family, the house the whole 9 yards. So fine, she can be in his life since he won't get rid of her for me....i love him...I guess that is what happens when you love somone. you do things you wouldn't do, or even well in my case, admit defeat....so i hope this proves to you my love that i do love you...
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she sits alone and confused..wondering whome to turn to. why does she get this way sometimes. Could it be the girl inside her again. Is she trying to force her way out once again? This has happened once before. She is starting to show her face more and more. I'm scared that it will happen again. The girl that only wants to destroy those that are closest to her and nothing more. Why does she torment me so? I look in the mirror and wonder to myself is this really the person I have become. Why do i hide that I am happy. When in my mind is tearing at my soul. Making everything I think great into something that I may not think I want. I am ment to be alone. I can only be happy for so long till something happens. Till I turn on myself and make the people around me suffer along with me. She is showing her ugly face to me and I don't know what to do. The thoughts in my head tell me that I'm acting normal and that everything is fine. When My loved ones are telling me that everything is not ok. I'm acting different and I don't even realize it. It's my fault I can't control her. And all that is happening to me is because of my stupid mind. this has happened before to where I almost took myself out, so I wouldn't hurt anyone around me. It was the same time as this year. Halloween. | | |
| I had a short chat with a recent ex the other day and it was just mind boggling how this guy didn't get the picture that I wanted nothing to do with him. He then tells me I need to get off my 'power trip' haha lord almighty this douchebag just didn't get it. If I wanted to talk to him, I would have. It wouldn't be him sending me stupid shit making sure I was OK haha. He doesn't care, just how girls 'who are just friends' don't care about your relationship, they are just waiting to hear you say well i dumped that bitch haha. That is it. Women are sneaky and conniving bitches! I'm sorry, yea I am a female as well, so therefore I understand where their intentions lay. Just like my good friends L (girl) and C(stupid guy) He has been pulling thses just chat away and tell these little twats all about his personal life and how she has cheated on him blah blah when actually he cheated on her first! Anyways, the point is, these little twats he is talking to don't give a shit if it is going to work out. They are hoping it doesn't so they can be next in line. Ok lets just say that maybe one out of the 5 may be honestly cares and hopes that his relationship works out..but for the most part, the others are just waiting for their turn. Point is you can't talk to singles of the opposite sex and you can't still be friends with ex's. I don't care what you say. It just doesn't happen if you want a relationship to work. You feel like you aren't doing anything wrong Then why do I feel betrayed Every time you say her name Every time I see your face Something I can't trace It's Her You promised Me That she would be out of your life Be careful You may lose me Or is that what you want Just to keep a 'friend' 
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| This is for the females..guys may beable to relate since i am venting about a certain 'problem'. I've gone through a lot this past coming up on 10 mnths of my life. Mentally and Physically. Though there has always been one main problem that he choses to not get rid of....her. His chick/friend who has been there for him since he was 15...though here's the deal. He dated her when he was 15..she was 19...he is still best 'buds' with her to this day..10 years later..she is an ex..plain and simple..every single girl he has dated has had a problem with her...i had a problem with her even when i was just friends with him because i thought he was stupid not to think that every relationship was going to be harder because of his best friend gal pal who is a fucking ex. Now i'm going through it..he says he'll slowly stop trying to talk to her...i haven't seen any kind of sign that he has. She still talks to him and he thinks he is so sneaky by only telling me part of the time..enough to satisfy my hunger for the truth. the point is..i dont want to lose him..but she isn't helping our relationship. | | |
| I've been going through a lot. Emotions tearing at my mind. I'm not sure where I am at this point. I'm changing everyday into this person I am not used to. I don't kn ow how she works. I'm confused yet Ready. | | |
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